MidLilfe Hack #1
Everyone needs a helping hand to get through the tough days. And these are tough days!
So this is the first of my daily MidLife Hack videos which are 3-4 minute short, sharp hacks – tips really – to help in those moments of overwhelm and stress.
First hack up is how to CIA the hell out of your life. No, I don’t mean you call the Feds.
When something threatens to change our expectations of how something should be, we often spend most of our energy and time in the zone we can’t change – reality. But the sooner we accept the situation (we absolutely don’t have to like it), the sooner we leave the space of powerlessness and fear (and even rage), and get back to thinking straight in the spaces where we can influence and control, and make good decisions.
So CIA the situation get’s you back in the driving seat, rather than being thrown around the back seat of a hijacked car without a seatbelt.
C- what can you control?
I – what can you influence?
A – what do you need to accept.
CIA the hell out of everything….. especially in these fast changing times.
Our brains can trick us (mine tricks me all the time, especially when it tells me the glass of wine is absolutely necessary and does count as one of our five a day).
We often believe stress is a bad thing, and that we are meant to be happy all the time; therefore when we are scared, or stressed, we think we must get out of that space quickly. But we can’t because in the process of being stressed, our rational brain parts have shut down to allow for the evolutionary Fight/Flight/Freeze reaction to kick in – and that makes us even more stressed because we can’t figure out what to do.
But stress is there for a reason… we just have to learn how to handle it. (Consider it a bit like a puppy.. unless YOU take charge of the puppy (stress) it will pee all over your carpet and eat your good shoes.)
Author of The Upside of Stress, Prof Kelly McGonigal explains that stress is a natural process, and that it can be healthy… (but like anything in life, the key is moderation!). “Stress happens when something you care about is at stake. It’s not a sign to run away—it’s a sign to step forward.”
That’s the beauty of this MidLife Hack – To Accept quickly the reality (you don’t have to like it), and then focus your thoughts and energy on what you can influence, and what you can control.