Lessons of the decade


This has been one hell of a decade, full of the good, the bad, the ugly and the beautiful – and not a meagre amount of Gin 😉

But as I look back, it’s the things that all those experiences taught me that matter most.  My face and hair (and waistline) might have changed slightly, but it is the soul they decorate that has really transformed.

My life is very different to the one that started the decade.  I lost babies, a much-loved mum, and a difficult marriage.  I gained a third magnificent daughter, weight and a new career.   I cried, I laughed, I loved, I grew. And it is the last one that changed me the most.

I learned that it is more important to chase growth, than happiness.

I became a Recovering Perfectionist, and started to thrive in the resulting weightlessness.

I learned how to set boundaries, and not apologise for enforcing them.

I found out that only by embracing the reality of what is, could I own the moment. Even if that’s a really uncomfortable moment.  Even if it hurts.  Only when I accept it, do I have the power to decide what happens next.

I learned that the only thing to be scared of is not trying.

I discovered who loved me for me, not the perfect image I / they thought I had to portray.

I learned that THE most important voice I should trust is my own.

I discovered how transformative my love of learning could be, that led me to value education as vital as entertainment in my life.

I grew even more appreciative of the friendships I thought were about wanting to hang out together until 3am, but are also often the ones I could call at 3am if I needed them.

I made an effort to find out the things that gave me energy, and then made sure I prioritised those things.

I saw how life-changing practises of gratitude and intention are, and committed to building them into my life like breathing.

And perhaps, most of all, I realised that no matter what the circumstances, no matter what I feel or think, and no matter what is expected of me, I always have a choice.

I have the choice to respond, not react.

I have the choice to live consciously rather than on autopilot.

I have the choice to embrace change and grow, not resist change and stagnate.

I am a glorious, messy, imperfect, resilient, creative, experimental, vulnerable, curious strong, grateful, excited work in progress.

I’m ok if I fuck up. I’m ok if the road has diversions. I’m ok if I don’t have all the answers.

Because I’ve learned most of all, that regardless if the day is bright and sunny, or dark and cloudy, I’m here, on this adventure called Life, and what a privilege that is.





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