10 lessons I’ve learned as a MidLifer.

*1. Everything is up for interpretation. Every event, every interaction, every reaction and response, every thought, and yes, every one of my beliefs. All are up for interpretation depending what lens I am looking through, and instead of clinging to my ego-led chains for dear life, I am free to grow, change, evolve and prioritise. How liberating!

*2. I have much less control of all the things I thought I should when I was younger, and so much more control over the things I assumed I didn’t.  I have less control over what happens or anyone else’s thoughts and reactions to me, and all the control over how I think, feel and act.  How liberating!

*3. Most of my worries and wobbles are not important in the grand scheme of things. Years ago I sat alone amid the chaotic cacophony of a rainforest, and I saw how every twine, root, blade, blossom where entwined and supported as this incredible ecosystem I am part of. All I can really focus on is playing my part and doing the best I can to leave my little space better, or at least not worse, than I found it.  How liberating!

*4. Wine always seems a good idea at the time. As does chocolate. And hot toast dripping in melted butter. But then that moment is gone, and the subsequent moments are spent in regret. It’s not pretty. But I do it anyway, because perfect and pretty isn’t always the goal.

*5. I feel beautiful when I dance. I feel beautiful when I swim. I feel beautiful before I open my eyes when I first wake up and am all wrapped in my duvet. I feel beautiful when I walk in trees. I feel beautiful when I belly laugh. I feel beautiful when I am moved by music, words, connection, flow, creativity.  I need to intentionally spend more time doing things that make me feel beautiful and less time doing things that make me feel meh.

*6. I am always part of something bigger and better than me. Every time I walk among trees and nature I remember this. I can be a pebble in a lake causing ripples, or a grain of sand on the beach. I am part of nature, and it nurtures me.  How liberating!

*7. I’ve always been afraid of being choiceless. Yet every time I’ve felt trapped, I’ve always been able to choose how to think and act. I just need to remember that.  This is liberating.

*8. I’ve got me. (This took me decades to realise). Whatever happens, it will be me that deals with it, and I’ve dealt with and learned a lot from my successes and mistakes.  I'm smart, sassy, adventurous, brave, bold, strong, loving, kind, creative, determined, resilient, and funny. I’d want to be pals with me.

*9. I need to be better pals with me.  Really better. Every time I feel slighted, rejected or used, I need to give myself a really good hug. Every time I’m critical of myself, I need to look myself in the eyes and ask what do I need to hear that will actually be more useful.

*10. I choose progress over perfectionism every time. Look how far I’ve come. Look how far I can go. The only limits on me are the ones I create for myself.  This is so liberating.

*11. I don’t need company to pop a bottle of champagne.  I don’t need approval to write my words. I don’t need a love at all costs.  I can choose the who, what, when and where because of want, not need. How liberating!

*12. The constant stream of thoughts in my head can be turned down, or off, just like the radio. Pockets of peace are essential.  This is liberating.

*13. Break your expectations and challenge the limits I set myself. I set myself the task of writing 10 lessons, but here I am at 13 so far. A nice round number won’t have all the answers.  This is liberating.

*14. Life is really good fun, even when it doesn’t feel like it. Celebrate and appreciate it, and always choose  to grow powerfully over gracefully.